Saving a Crust of Bread

Connie Weisman, one of my first spiritual guides, told a story that profoundly illustrates how fear and mistrust prevent people from truly sharing all they have to share, even though there is no logical reason for withholding and doing so is self-destructive. Two Russian political prisoners in the 1970s became incredibly close friends in a

23 Mar, 2015
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Organizing Principles and You

In the previous chapter, I mentioned that I rationalized suffering in my marriage and other close relationships with the self-defeating belief that life was full of suffering and there was nothing I could do about it. For many years, my Organizing Principles made it impossible for me to act effectively to accomplish my conscious goals

16 Mar, 2015
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Overcoming Fear of Awkward Pain

I mentioned that one of the new Guiding Principles I’ve created to help me act in ways that are healthier and more productive is “Don’t live with familiar pain out of fear of awkward pain.” Fear of awkward pain is an outgrowth of fear of the unknown, and, by definition, change is the unknown. My

9 Mar, 2015
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Pause Your Machinery: Frog in Hot Water Relationships

Stop and take a moment to “pause your machinery.” The concepts and techniques I present throughout my latest book, Your Mind Is What Your Brain Does for a Living, require mindfulness to learn and master, and this brief written exercise will give you the opportunity to rest, step outside the pattern of passive reading, and

2 Mar, 2015
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What’s Wrong with Being Right?

In my relationships, my default programming also directed a lot of my thoughts and feelings in support of my being “right.” Sometimes the desire to be right makes us attempt to make the other person wrong; sometimes it makes us withdraw into ourselves, as I did when I’d back off from taking a stance to

19 Feb, 2015
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