The Transference Phenomenon

The reason we stay in an unsatisfying relationship is that our machinery can’t choose any of the three doors. When our machinery is running us, we cling to familiar pain at all costs and continue suffering because our perception is that we need the relationship and the only way to have it is to pay

20 Apr, 2015
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Pause Your Machinery: What Kind of Horse are You?

Stop and take a moment to “pause your machinery.” The concepts and techniques I present throughout my latest book, Your Mind Is What Your Brain Does for a Living, require mindfulness to learn and master, and this brief written exercise will give you the opportunity to rest, step outside the pattern of passive reading, and

13 Apr, 2015
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Three Kinds of Horses

There’s a Zen story about three kinds of horses, told from the viewpoint of a jockey who rides all three horses in different races and has to get each mount to put its total energy into its race. The jockey signals the first mount to make its move by merely showing the horse his whip,

6 Apr, 2015
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Pause Your Machinery: Frog in Hot Water Relationships

30 Mar, 2015
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Saving a Crust of Bread

Connie Weisman, one of my first spiritual guides, told a story that profoundly illustrates how fear and mistrust prevent people from truly sharing all they have to share, even though there is no logical reason for withholding and doing so is self-destructive. Two Russian political prisoners in the 1970s became incredibly close friends in a

23 Mar, 2015
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