Judging Others

In my book My Mind Is Not Always My Friend: A Guide for How to Not Get in Your Own Way, I say that when we stop judging, love is everywhere. By judging, I mean negatively evaluating other people’s actions or words and expressing our evaluation to them in some way. When we

29 Aug, 2013
Posted by Steve Fogel
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Mentoring

I was fifteen when I got a job working at the Beverly Theatre in Beverly Hills. My boss, Myron, the theatre manager, looked and acted like Tony Soprano on The Sopranos. One day I came into his office with a question, and he told me,“Man up, stop acting like a kid who’s caught his dick

22 Aug, 2013
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Embrace Your Dark Side

Have you ever spent time with an acquaintance, friend, or family member and come away feeling upset because you thought he was conceited, arrogant, or aggressive or behaving in some other way you judged to be “wrong”? During a disagreement with someone, has the other person ever asked you why you were

15 Aug, 2013
Posted by Steve Fogel
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SINGLE AGAIN

I’m single again after two long-term marriages. I was 22 when I first got married, and it was before the birth control pill, legalized abortion and the sexual freedom born in the hippie era. The word relationship wasn’t in my universe and the idea of “hooking up” with a woman without getting married meant in

8 Aug, 2013
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The “I Message” vs. the “You Message”

Psychologists often advise that when telling someone how you feel, it’s important to use an “I message” rather than a “You message.” This is especially important if you’re expressing something the other person would interpret as negative. For example, if you feel upset by something a friend has said, instead of saying “You made me

1 Aug, 2013
Posted by Steve Fogel
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