Hot Button Issues

Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. refers to acting mindlessly in this hyperactivated way as reacting to a “hot-button issue” and “flipping our lid.” He emphasizes that by mindfully using the adult version of the Time Out technique during the incident, if possible, and by mindfully reflecting on the incident afterward, you can take responsibility for your actions and repair a rupture in a conversation and a relationship.

This has become my method of parenting myself when I “flip my lid” in response to a “hot-button issue” as I continue on my journey of transformation. I’ve made it a personal practice to wait at least thirty minutes before responding to texts and emails that can be activating for me. Giving myself a Time Out has saved me from many self-defeating actions.

Again, remember that we as humans are designed to react, react, and react! We have no choice but to react; the trick is to react mindfully. And we cannot react mindfully if we are still activated. When you’re activated, parent yourself by giving yourself a Time Out before you react so that you won’t react in a thoughtless and possibly hurtful manner.

An excerpt from my recent book, Your Mind Is What Your Brain Does for a Living, now available at Amazon.

photo credit: Philerooski via photopin cc